Stillborn.

Condensed water droplets on the outside of the window didn't plan for a trip back with me. As the flight started to make it's getaway on the gloomy runway; droplets raced back downwards. It was an amazing sight on the window, so many lines of otiose existence racing for their destiny.

But it wasn't only those droplets that I left behind on my trip. Half of everything that I am made up of; got lost somewhere in the city, while braving it's eccentricities. A heavy heart cannot be outweighed by anything but the deed that it is destined to do. I tried to picture everything in front of my eyes and realize how my life is going to change; but what I just couldn't get out of my head was, that while "those otiose droplets" still fought for their destiny; I just gave in to the reality.

It was the title of this blog that was revolving around in my head. Stillborn. A baby that has departed from this world before it could open his eyes to see it. And yet, irony is, that it is there. It just made it and then it didn't.

Stillborn does not represent a failed effort, or a wasted effort of 9 months. In fact 9 months is barely a concern. What it represents is the demise of all the eternal long dreams that you build since it's conceiving. It represents the nucleus of everything you did in those 9 months. It represents the irony, that you made it. Almost. What makes it heart wrenchingly sad is the fact, that you were too close to believe it. All that it leaves behind is flummoxed senses trying to sop up your grief and then suddenly intensifying it. It's a feeling that you cannot explain. It comes as close to dying as it could; and yet being alive in just a non-existent way.

On a different note, the problem in talking to wise men is that, they make you see the side, you knew existed, but didn't want to see. I hate when that happens. Not only it instills rational thought and reality in your cogitating mind; but it also draw up the boundaries that you didn't know existed. Or at least you didn't honor. It kills the will and determination to do the impossible. It makes you believe that you are like everyone else. Mediocre.

I just hate the fact, that someone convinced me successfully that I cannot succeed even before I started. But in my defense, if it was only up to me; there would not be any stopping. It's just that sometimes love works against love and there is nothing more racking than giving up your dream for a misconceived notion of contentment.

The eternal question for me now is, either to savor the best that I have ever had and live with it's eternal memory or go all the way; but with a trade off that I'll just ruin everything.

I know I am alone in it now; but what needs to be done, should be done. Some people say, it is this step that will differentiate you as you embark on a journey of manhood from being a boy. But I say, now, there is no journey. There is just a ticking clock, me and a stillborn; who just made it and yet it didn't.

~ To those, who never understood it, and will never do.

Love should come with a "Disclaimer"

Image Courtesy: Barca-q8

"All the good things in life are free". Whoever said that; probably didn't love too many and too much. Here is a perpetual truth to elucidate the minds of my prudent friends who have been living by this saying till now. NO, most of the good things in life are NOT free. And maven that you are; if your rapid counter-arguments are "Love and Happiness"; then let me tell you that happiness will probably not stick by your side for long if your spirit is the one, that is heavier than your wallet. On the other hand love and affection comes for free, only from a wet Dog looking for a warm cuddle. And considering the radical marketing that dogs get in TV commercials these days; I doubt if you'll even get a unpopular breed for about $500. That too when you don't get me started on the price tags of Dog food and flea removers.

Now that I have your eyes and ears on truth; please know that Love is in all probability, by far, the most expensive luxury you can afford. I know masses won't agree; but at the end of the day reality is that oodles don't have love; it's a prerogative of the select few. Love is like a 30 days trial software; it's ushered into your life by luck or will (most often by a wretched specie called friends); you make best of it in 30 days and before you can think or blink you are hung up on it. While hugs and passionate kisses, all come flying at you in trial period; once reality mode begins a petty gift may only qualify you for as much as a quick peck on the cheek. And as you try to feed your famishing inside to quench it's hunger for love; the "so called love" starts to eat away on your opulence; that you indubitably enjoyed once upon a time.

As rightly said "reality is stranger than fiction", let me tell you once again that this is not even the beginning of "worse" that you are going to see. As the norms would have it; all things including kickshaws that are paid for, are shipped and sold with their respective trade-offs, shortcomings and most importantly "disclaimers".

Working in warranty vertical of manufacturing; "disclaimer" is one word that is conjugated with my soul. It absolves a trader from the shackles of obligation in case of an uneventful failure of the product, "**if not used as specified". More expensive a product; more stringent and bold are it's clauses and limitations for usage.

Ironical as it is; but there is no disclaimer ever attached with love. There is no guidance, decrees or rules associated. It sounds like a sweet deal; but world that we live in; is used to "DISCLAIMERS" my friend. With the absence of disclaimers you trip over the line and before you know you are so far ahead from where you should be. So until we have "time machines" to undo the deeds that have been done; we shall rely on plain old disclaimers.

And until one is indited for love; most of the meritorious bachelors will forfeit their ambitions to the astute son of Aphrodite. Love is a deception with a charm which subterfuges your sense of reality. Once captivated; it gradually deprives you of your aspirations and dreams; Or so I think. My friends say; it's just the unstoppable nagging of the spouse that drives them crazy.

While half of the world struggles to cave their way into love; rest of the half is trying to shake away the hobbles. And as we stand here on either side; we look up to a resolution which will confine the bloodshed of dreams to only ill-fated.

Until then; like I said before; "Love should come with a Disclaimer".